I can still hear your voice
But it's now a pale breath
of the not-too-distant past
I can still feel your touch
But I can only feel you slipping
through my fingers
Now you make me wonder!
Did I go to chasing the wind?
Did I go to the river
with a basket
with the hope of bringing home water?
Passer-by
You make me wonder!
3 comments:
First, I like the flirtatious mood of this beautiful poem. Then, I like the perplexing mix of time. It appears we are talking about somebody we 'bumped into' in the not-too-distant past, but, at the same time, we seem to be addressing a passerby at the very same time the persona is narrating the action. That delicate balance is what really does it for me. Somehow, in addition, the flirtation is heightened by the quick (dare I say not-too-fully-developed) end. Great work. How long did it take to write? And was is a flash of inspiration or determined perspiration?
Thanks for appreciating.
Actually this was more as a result of a burst-up of pent-up volcanic emotions.
The ending just like how i got inspired was left abrupt. I think that it hits on my personal feeling just right i cannot do anything more about it!
Time...! i only remember that sunday i woke up hot pregnant that i got consumed in all the inspiration and i did not feel hungry till i placed the last exclamation mark! how long would that have been... emmmmm... really i did not clock.
Hey, Man this is a poem of great poems, I like it man. But it seem its a true real experience poem.
Aden Odo a ada da wo a naaaa!!!!!!!!.
Don't wonder the basket will catch a fish and bring home water for it to swim. LoL
Post a Comment